Life...?

I don't really know how to put into words what it is I'm feeling. Yesterday was stressful and today was stressful, and both for very different reasons. It used to be that I'd have days like these and think, "Wow...I really need to write," and then I'd just sit down and type or write, and all the words would just fall off my fingertips without any effort. I used to enjoy going back the next day and re-reading what I'd written, because I thought I wrote with grace and said things that were worth reading.

Up until I was 16, I thought I was going to be a high school teacher...either English or history. I loved writing and reading, and I adored history (although it was definitely never my forte). And then I discovered the medical world. I did an internship my senior year of high school at Memorial Hospital where I followed doctors, nurses, and therapists around a bunch of different departments. The program was aimed to give those of us who wanted a career in medicine a very raw, real glimpse into the life of the medical professionals we aspired to be like. We were required to make a journal entry with every visit (twice a week), but we weren't given any guidelines on what or how to write. I was a writer who had realized she wanted to be a nurse, and my first journal entry on my first day at my internship sounded like just that. I tried to be poetic and insightful, and then I looked back on it a few days later. They sounded ridiculous, and they certainly were not nurses' notes. I quickly cut back on writing...a lot. I started watching insane amounts of Discovery Health and reading my anatomy book in my spare time.

That was a huge shift in my life, and one of my first times seeing who I was truly going to be as an adult. I really, really hate terms like this, but I guess it was one of my first instances of self realization...or something like that.

Right now, I guess, I'm going through another something like that. We just moved just over an hour away from everything I've pretty much ever known. Just me, my husband, and my son. I guess it's not as hard as it could be - the house we're living in belongs to Andy's parents, and it's basically the Schinsky/Schaetzel (Andy's stepdad) hub because it's right in the middle of the cities they all live in. I've been coming to this house for Schinsky family stuff for almost 3 years and I know where everything is and how everything works, and I've always felt comfortable here. Huge, huge plus. But I know NOTHING about Littleton. No streets, no stores, no nothing.

I can feel it...I'm on the verge of an enormous shift. I don't know in what way, exactly, but I know it's coming, and I think I'm really excited about it. Just have to keep praying through the whole thing. That's one thing I need to come back to in a big way. That's the only thing in my life I'm not feeling okay about now. But I suppose that's another entry for another day. If anyone's still reading, thanks for sticking with my. I'm incredibly scatterbrained lately.

So...here goes nothing. Life.