Super Spicy Beanless Chili

For the last month, I have put cayenne pepper in and on EVERYTHING. I can't stop. I'm beyond obsessed with spicy food.

I get food obsessions. They last about two months and then they go away. And God bless Andy for putting up with them, because my last little obsession was with FunDip, and you can't get that in stores anymore.

So the other night, I was going to make this chili, but Andy wouldn't let me because we already had one soup in the fridge, and we don't need another, blah blah blah, whine whine, eat the soup before it goes bad.

Not to mention I told him I was going to put the chili on hot dogs and Andy is not a hot dog fan. Even a little. At all. But that's another story for another time.

The soup is gone now, but I still felt like a little rebel when, while Andy was at work tonight, I made this. I'm not going to lie, it made my lips sting a little, but I wish it was hotter.

The true problem, my friends, is simply that I do not have access to ghost peppers. That and there's only one habanero in my house right now, and I'm saving that for some special recipe that I have yet to make up.

BUT, without further ado, here it is. Enjoy!

Ingredients

1 lb ground beef

2 cloves minced garlic

1 (16 oz) can tomato sauce

1/4 yellow onion, chopped

2 Roma tomatoes, diced

1/2 c. chili powder

1 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper*

1 tbsp crushed red pepper

1 tsp paprika

1/3 c. Frank's original buffalo sauce

1/2 tsp sea salt

*If you're not as big a spicy fan as me, I'd recommend 1/2 tsp cayenne

Directions

1. Brown the ground beef and mix in the minced garlic at the end
2. In a large sauce pan, combine beef and garlic with the remaining ingredients; bring to simmering over medium heat
3. Reduce heat to medium-low, stirring occasionally, and let simmer for 40 minutes, or until desired thickness is achieved

I ate about half a cup of the chili as it cooked. 

I told myself I was making sure I had the flavor right.

Which I did. I totally did.

After I let the chili simmer for a good 45 minutes, I cooked up some incredibly delicious Hebrew National hot dogs (seriously, if you haven't tried them, DO IT RIGHT THIS SECOND. Most amazing hot dogs EVER), plunked 'em right down in some buns, slathered them in chili, then topped the whole thing with a "fiesta cheese" blend. Ole! 

Now CHOW DOWN!!! Then prop yourself up on about a dozen pillows when it's time for bed, cuz you're gonna have some heartburn. But if you're anything like me, the desire for tongue-sizzling chili far outweighs the aversion to a little bit of indigestion. 

Buffalo Chicken Fingers

So I don't think there's any secret that I like my food really spicy...all the time. I think half my tweets (limited though they are at this point) are about how much I like spicy food.

Last night, there was a Man vs. Food marathon on the Travel Channel. I watched until my eyes bled. Adam Richman is a HUMAN GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Seriously?! Seven pounds of Italian food in ninety minutes?!


Anyway, in one episode, he was re-doing his very first spicy challenge thing, because the first time he tried it, he couldn't get past the first bite. Holy. Crap.

Before I was pregnant, I could pretty much Hoover any spicy foodstuff I wanted. I'm not kidding, I ate a salsa called "Baptism of Fire" when I was ten years old. I don't know what was in it, but my dad said his coworkers couldn't even handle a pinky-tip-dip of the stuff. I loved it.

Then when Logan screwed up the level of every single hormone in my body, the fluctuation managed to make my taste buds betray me in the worst possible way: I hated spicy food. I couldn't handle a jalapeno. Heck, I couldn't even handle On the Border's "forgive us for taking forty-five minutes to make your food" time-waster salsa. It was pure palate devastation.

FINALLY, though, now that my son is seventeen months old, I not only like spicy food again, I crave it. I desire it the way Snooki desires one of those nasty, orange, steroid-filled guidos.

Guys, I put cayenne pepper and hot sauce in that chicken and dumpling soup from last night. WHO DOES THAT?!

So, the combination of my insatiable need for spicy things and watching Adam Richman devour pounds of straight chili extract and ghost peppers drove me to do this tonight, at 9:30 pm. Enjoy. Recreate. Give me your input and variations.

Homemade Buffalo Chicken Fingers


Ingredients:
Vegetable oil
3 chicken breasts, thawed
1 1/2 c. flour
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp crushed red pepper
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp lemon juice + milk (2% or whole) or cream to equal 1 cup.*
1/2 - 3/4 c. flour
1 tsp hot sauce
1 bottle Frank's RedHot Original Buffalo sauce

*or 1 c. buttermilk

Directions:
1. Fill a 2- or 3-quart pot halfway with vegetable oil, cover, and set to medium heat.
     IMPORTANT: Once the oil comes to a boil, be sure to keep something in the pot to keep the temperature from getting too high. It will start a fire, and I speak from experience. I recommend chopping up a potato and dropping the pieces in, because by the end you'll have buffalo chicken AND fries. And that's never a bad thing.

2. In a large bowl, mix together 1 1/2 c. flour and all the dry spices. Whisk them all together.

3. In another bowl, mix together the milk and lemon juice and let it sit for about 5 minutes. This acts like buttermilk. I don't know about any of you, but I'm way more likely to find milk and lemon juice in my fridge than buttermilk.

4. After the milk and lemon juice have sat for five minutes or so, add the hot sauce and flour until the consistency is about the same as that of paint (my husband gave me that...he's the imagery master). We stirred in an extra few shakes of cayenne and chili powder. Like I've mentioned about five thousand times...we like spicy.

5. Trim the fat off the chicken breasts and slice them into chicken-finger-sized strips. I didn't measure because I figure most of you have had a chicken strip before and know the size you prefer.

6. Coat the strips in the buttermilk/flour batter, then dredge each in the flour and spice mixture. 

7. Place the strips in the oil (the fries should be done by now), but try to only cook one breast at a time. The strips will cook quicker and more evenly.

8. Pull them out when they look like this on the outside:

and are appropriately cooked through on the inside.

9. Take the chicken out and place on a dish lined with a layer or two of paper towels, to let the oil drain off, then transfer to a large bowl for coating with buffalo sauce.

10. Dump a whole mess of buffalo sauce all over the chicken strips and "toss" until they're well coated.

Serve with bleu cheese dressing and an icy cold beer.

Ahhhhh...that's the good stuff.

Do you have a cool variation on buffalo wings? I'd love to hear it!

Thanks for reading!